Lessons form the Patriarch: Tart Tatin

For the Crust:
Put 1.5 c ap flour in the freezer mixed with 1.25 c powdered sugar and pinch of salt until very cold.
Put stick of butter in freezer, sliced into pats if you wanna
2 large eggs beaten, on the side, in fridge, gettin' cold

Have a glass of ice H2O on the side with a little spoon, just in case you need more liquid. When sufficiently cold, add flour mixture to cuisinart with butter,pulsing until granular and incorporated. Add eggs while pulsing and it sort of sticks together and then dump it over onto a sheet of wax paper, forming it into a ball and be fast about it, grasshopper.

MINIMAL MANIPULATION is essential DON'T TOUCH THE BLOODY DOUGH, IT WILL MELT THE BUTTER, FOOL. When you're done, throw it back in fridge or freezer, if it will set for just a bit.

OK, now peel 6 or 7 granny smith apples according to the size of your cast iron skillet. Then quarter those bad boys and throw them in a bowl with the juice of one lemon.

In a cast iron skillet, on low heat, throw 2/3 c of sugar and let it caramalize. Then throw in the apples over medium low heat and let sit. Don't worry that they don't cook, they just want to form a syrup on the bottom with the sugar.

Meanwhile, flour your wax paper and go fetch your pastry dough. You gonna roll that shit, girl!! Cover your ball of dough with the other piece of wax paper and flatten the hell outta it.Then throw it back in the fridge to cool off on a plate.

Then cover your cast iton skillet with the apples with the chilled pastry crust and tuck it in all snug and cozy, seal it up with a knife and a kiss! It'll lok lumpy, and that's cool.

Throw it in the oven for 45 minutes at 400 degrees et voila!