The Plaintain

"The Chip." "The Cracker." Even "The Pretzel," can't compete with...

"The Plaintain."



It's "The Godfather," of all things cruchy, fried or baked! The most versitle food on the planet! Well, maybe that's the tomato but..."The Plaintain," my friends, "The Plaintain" puts salsa in your step, tangos on your tongue and swirl in your hips. It pizazzes the palate with it's ability to change forms. Mash, you say...no problem; make a Mofongo! Sweets you want? Got it covered...let's have Amarillos (or Moduros depending on where you're from). In the mood for a pot pie? Make The Plaintain your crust for a surprisingly tasty and healthy alternative. Having a party? Need some chips & dip? Or just in the mood for a crunchy snack but got snowed into your house and I can't get out? If you're an Irizarry, or any other self-respecting Puerto Rican, you will always have "The Plantain" in your home. Don Poncho said, "Let them make chips!"

And so we shall...

"The Plaintain" Chip

This plaintain should be green and firm. Slice it up - length-wise. Easier to do with a Mandolin but if you have a cuisin art, get the attachements out! Cut the plaintain in half so it fits in your machine for a long cut. Let it dry out a little - 20 minutes or so. Salt it up a little add a dash of pepper if you like. Or paprika, or oregano, or garlic salt (see how versitle!) Heat a cast iron skillet about 1/3 of the way with canola, vegetable or peanut oil. Let the oil get hot but do not let it burn. Toss the leggy-plaintain strips into the hot oil. It won't hurt them; they like it! Don't over fill the skillet or you'll bring the temperature down too much or risk an oil spillage. Flip them around. When They look sunburned, take out and set on a paper towel. You may choose to season your plaintains at this point instead of before frying. That's ok, especially if you want to save your oil to fry up something else! Empanada's anyone?



Serve atop chili, add a little crunch to a salad, make nachos, eat with salsa. Or eat on it's own. You won't be disappointed.

Mamma's Buttermilk Biscuits

If you have never had real Southern style biscuits, you have not lived. They are so fluffy and flaky and buttery and delicious not to mention a snap to whip up. These are the best around, and the ultimate in comfort food. When you eat them, you feel warm and cozy inside like yo mamma right there with a hug for you! This recipe was taken from the Raleigh News and observer and then modified by my very own sweet lil' mamma.

2 c self rising flour Lilly White or King Arthur are the best brands.
1 stick salted butter
2/3 c buttermilk


Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Cut the butter into the flour with a pastry cutter, or if you ghetto like me and don't have one, just use two butter knives in a crisscross cutting motion until well incorporated. Make a well in the center of the flour butter mixture, add the milk and stir it in with a fork.

Sprinkle a clean surface with some flour and knead dough until it is a soft little ball, Awwwwww.

Pat it out with your hands til it is about an inch thick and then cut the biscuits with a small glass cup or biscuit cutter, if you fancy.

Place the biscuits in an ungreased cast iron skillet or on a baking stone for best results and allow to rest for 30 minutes.

TIP: Don't preheat the oven until you have already cut out the biscuits in order to save energy.......my mamma so green!

Bake for 10-15 minutes at 450 degrees or until golden brown.

Serve hot with jam, if you make your own, yay, if not, St. Dalfour is available in most conventional grocery stores and is quite excellent, especially the cranberry with blueberry or the fig. I like my biscuits with jam and sausage patties; the sweet and salty is perfect!

Note: If you want to make your own French style jam, check out Chlotilde's site, zucchini and chocolate. To die for!

You Gonna Suck the Head????

One of the best things about being on the panhandle is the guilt free consumption of the best wild, local shrimp around. Also, so far as I know, the last time you could order barbecue shrimp, cajun style, which has actually nothing to do with barbecue as you know it, was at Pascal Manale's, which never reopened after Katrina. So, if you make this, make sure you buy shrimp with the heads on-and if you can order them Wild American Shrimp certified, even better. This dish be MESSY, and that's alright, actually. Don't even bother trying to be neat about it, and make sure you suck the juices out of the head, cajun style. This goes mighty nice with some succotash on the side. I would say you need about a half a pound per person. The recipe below serves 4. Bon appetit!

In a large cast iron skillet, throw in 1 1/2 sticks of butter, 1 c olive oil, and the juice of 1 lemon or lime; set it to low heat.
Add four cloves of finely minced garlic, 1/2 tsp ground oregano, 1/2 tsp ground basil, 2 tbl crushed rosemary (dried), 1 tbl paprika, 1 tsp cayenne pepper, 1/2 tsp thyme, 1 tsp salt, 1 tsp ground black pepper, four crushed bay leaves. That's your cajun seasoning, if I ever saw it!

Cook the sauce for 7 minutes, bringing it to a boil, then set it aside for 1/2 hour and preheat your oven to 450 degrees. Throw in your whole shrimp until they turn that lovely characteristic red and then put the whole skillet in the oven for 15 minutes to bake.

Serve immediately with white rice with some sauce ladled over the top and enjoy!

French Bread

So easy: Just Do It

There are a few reasons to make your own bread, even if you don't have a nice brick or adobe oven. First of all, in this country good bread is extremely scarce. Second of all, the bread you make yourself, while it may not compare with a fine artisanal loaf from a real bakery, will undoubtedly be much better than practically anything else. So, go for it, and embrace the magic of yeast!

1 and 1/3 c water warmed to approximately 112 degrees farenheit, with a tbl of sugar dissolved. Add one tsp or one package of yeast and stir and let sit until foamy.

In a seperate bowl, 3 c of BREAD FLOUR with 2 tsp of salt mixed well. Add the liquid, knead into a ball by hand and set it, covered with floured plastic wrap and let rise, for as long as you want, even overnight. You can let your dough rise as many times as you want, which is very convenient as sometimes it is difficult to be the domestic goddess you know you are, so you can just punch it down and let it start all over again.

When you are ready, punch the dough down and split into two equal parts. Form them into baguettes and let them rise again, covered with your floured plastic wrap, and let rise in a warm spot (I like to let it rise in the oven, or in my old house in the summer on the terracotta tiles in my garden. Sigh.)

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees for 10 minutes then lower the heat to 350 degrees for another 20 minutes and voila!

Here is a photo of the recently formed baguettes, just before I put them in the oven to rise.

Redi Whip is an Affront to Humanity

Yes, it's true. Canned whipped cream represents like few other things the simultaneous laziness and ignorance of the American palate and the decadence of throw away culture.

Why anyone would buy an aerosol can of corn syrupy fluff when it is practically effortless to make your own divine cream toppings is beyond me. If you have a food processor, electric mixer or the like, you really have no excuse. If you don't have modern appliances, but you have a nice strong man around, just bat your lashes and swoon for him so that he whisks it for you by hand.

Here is the oh so foolproof "recipe" for whipped cream.

1/2 pint of heavy whipping cream, preferably organic, dahling
1/4 c powdered sugar or to taste
1/4 tsp vanilla extract or maple syrup

Combine and enjoy! And in the off chance you have a small amount of cream left over save it for your coffee the next day, it's outrageous with a shot of espresso!

Fettucine with Ham and Peas

Okay, this is a nice little cream sauce recipe that is simple to whip up and an enormously satisfying winter pasta. Set a pot of salted water to boil for your fettucine-I like the "al dente" brand called wild mushroom fettuccine that Mom and I picked up at Everman's,but I believe it is widely available in natural and upscale markets.

Start with some butter and olive oil in a cast iron skillet and throw in one half a large onion, chopped finely, then cook until translucent.

Add the mushroom of your choice-anything will do, but I think porcini's are especially nice. Cook them down and while you're at it, take out about a cup and a half of frozen peas and get those bad boys defrosted, however you can. Add a cup of heavy cream to the skillet at lowish heat so that it doesn't boil and throw the peas in. Add 1/4 lb of ham cut into strips and just talk to it real sweet like. (:

If you have some cheese lying around your fridge and you don't want to eat it because you can remember how long ago you bought it, but this is conflicting with the inner voice telling you that it doesn't really matter when you eat cheese because it's a freakin fungus anyway, and you can just cut off moldy bits, then throw in the cheese to the sauce mixture because it will be delicious. We have thrown in sharp cheddar cheese that was excellent, but anything will work. If you have no cheese, then that is utterly perfect, because the original recipe calls for no such addition!

Toss the pasta with your sauce, grind some fresh black pepper and some fresh nutmeg on top and serve immediately. A nice little bowl of freshly grated pecorino romano on the table is nice for topping it all off.

Yummy. But make sure you eat a nice salad with this, 'cause it ain't all that good for you! And as for the wine, we paired it with Scenario, a 2003 cabernet sauvingon that was simply lovely!

Belgian Waffles with Cream

1cup of water
1 cup milk

Warm this so that you can stick your finger in it without feeling burning.
Then add 1 tsp of yeast

Let this sit for a bit. Stir

Seperate two eggs. Place the yolks in a large bowl and beat with 1/4 cup of powdered sugar until yellow in color. Add half a stick of room temp butter and cream.

Add a pinch of salt, stir and add the liquids above.

Mix in 2 and 1/2 cups of all purpose flour and stir.
Now beat the whites until stiff peaks are formed.
Fold the whites gently into the batter. Cover and let it rest for one hour before baking in a waffle iron.

We served these the first time with fresh whipped cream and blackberries rolled in turbinado sugar. Today we are doing them with some freshly shelled local pecans from Everman's, and some organic banana slices. If you have children who wake up starving like me and don't want to wait an hour for the batter to rest, you can make the batter the night before and let it rest in the fridge so you're ready to go the next morning.

Best Damn Margaritas Ever

Margaritas

Juice several lemons and see how much liquid you got
Shoot for 3/4 c or about 3-4 or so lemons

Then throw in 1/3 c sugar into some water and dissolve, this is your simple syrup; you want equal parts simple syrup and lemon juice but don’t start off with 3/4 c water because the sugar has volume.

Combine and stir, put in fridge to chill while you...

Fill your beaker with ice, slightly less than halfway. Add to your beaker two 1.5 oz shots of patron and one 1 oz shot citronge. Add to this the juice of 1/2 lime.

In a seperate glass, add 3oz (little less than 1/2 c) orange juice and 2oz (about 1/4c) simple syrup lemon mixture.

Poor this in the beaker with the lime and alcohol and shake vigorously for a few seconds.

Pour into two cocktail glass on the rocks and enjoy!

Lessons form the Patriarch: Tart Tatin

For the Crust:
Put 1.5 c ap flour in the freezer mixed with 1.25 c powdered sugar and pinch of salt until very cold.
Put stick of butter in freezer, sliced into pats if you wanna
2 large eggs beaten, on the side, in fridge, gettin' cold

Have a glass of ice H2O on the side with a little spoon, just in case you need more liquid. When sufficiently cold, add flour mixture to cuisinart with butter,pulsing until granular and incorporated. Add eggs while pulsing and it sort of sticks together and then dump it over onto a sheet of wax paper, forming it into a ball and be fast about it, grasshopper.

MINIMAL MANIPULATION is essential DON'T TOUCH THE BLOODY DOUGH, IT WILL MELT THE BUTTER, FOOL. When you're done, throw it back in fridge or freezer, if it will set for just a bit.

OK, now peel 6 or 7 granny smith apples according to the size of your cast iron skillet. Then quarter those bad boys and throw them in a bowl with the juice of one lemon.

In a cast iron skillet, on low heat, throw 2/3 c of sugar and let it caramalize. Then throw in the apples over medium low heat and let sit. Don't worry that they don't cook, they just want to form a syrup on the bottom with the sugar.

Meanwhile, flour your wax paper and go fetch your pastry dough. You gonna roll that shit, girl!! Cover your ball of dough with the other piece of wax paper and flatten the hell outta it.Then throw it back in the fridge to cool off on a plate.

Then cover your cast iton skillet with the apples with the chilled pastry crust and tuck it in all snug and cozy, seal it up with a knife and a kiss! It'll lok lumpy, and that's cool.

Throw it in the oven for 45 minutes at 400 degrees et voila!